Beautifully and brutally honest: @tweeting_lies writes about how he feels Out of Step
by Stan Faryna
Here, Ward Defender writes:
You know for a while, I was feeling ok, and all seemed well, but this last week…. I just can’t shake this awkwardness in everything I do, again. Work, interpersonal relations, and just life in general seems to be wrong. Everything, just wrong. It’s not as though I’m going to stop being myself and I do keep trying to figure it out, but I don’t get it, and just can’t seem to figure out why.
Pusha T ft. Tyler, The Creator. Trouble On My Mind
Ok, Tyler is funny in a very wrong way. But until Tyler gets his dumbass* out of the ghetto think, he’s never going to discover the larger humanity, greatness, and creativity within Tyler.
* Reference to Tyler’s tweet on April 12: “Im a dumbass…”
I don’t have to see eye to eye with Ward on everything. He’s a real life friend and I love this guy. He might not know it, but he’s written in my heart. He’s wife is wacky and I love her too. His kids are awesome. Love them!
Ward should be a Comedy Central TV show host. Or a SNL comedian. Eddie Murphy and Jon Stewart got nothing on Ward Defender.
Ward is awesome like that. Larger than life. I’ve told him so – many times.
But Ward feels alone. I don’t think he’s the only one.
I feel alone. I got trouble on my mind. So much trouble on my mind. Sometimes – even in the midst of friends and family.
I just wonder why I can’t have that feeling so many others just get. They just seem to find their place in the big puzzle of the social structure and fit right in. I just stand on the outside and wonder why it’s so easy for them. And if I’ll ever get it.
We’re all standing on the outside, bro. Yet we are bound to each other by bonds and words and destiny – beyond even our imagination.
But I’m guessing Ward’s problem is really something else. Ward needs an audience to connect with. Because Ward has so much to give us.
Maybe, you too. Things to give. Things which you have not yet given.
Destiny speaks to us through our existential anxiety, bro.
Even Jean-Paul Sartre didn’t figure that shit out. Or Camus. But here I am, laying it out like a dime bag of pure, undiluted nilbog.
What am I saying? There’s a line from Frank Ocean’s song, Swim Good. It’s perfect.
Swim for something bigger…
Frank Ocean, Swim Good
12 April 2012
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