Are you comfortable faking it? And other social media DOHs.

Are you comfortable faking it? Friendship, love, and life – for instance?
by Stan Faryna

I’m going to do this like Jack does it. I am also inspired (in a manner of speaking) by a Florida Film maker that recently got accolades from the blogging community. More about that another time.

Stream of consciousness: I started with a title. It came to me as I watched my twitter stream. It’s loaded with love, gratitude, and inspiration.

I have selected this music to heighten your reading pleasure: The Blue Danube.

I started this blog post with a title that came to me as I watched my twitter stream. It’s loaded with love, gratitude, and inspiration. I’m talking about my Twitter timeline.

Like a river full of drifting trash. Like the blue Danube. Because the Danube is not blue. It hasn’t been blue for a long time. And it may never be blue again. Worse, the Danube doesn’t touch my heart like the waltz by the same name.

The real Danube is brown and gray and it’s filled with trash. Plastic two liter bottles, cardboard, and lots of other disposable things float down it.

Just like my Twitter timeline!

Stan Faryna

Yesterday, I unfollowed over 1,200 people on Twitter. This is the third time that I have unfollowed mass quantities of trash makers during my two or more years on Twitter.

I did it because the trash was so thick that my timeline had become a brackish stream of false consciousness. My timeline had lost any sense of blue.

Just like the Danube.

My Twitter timeline is a conveyor belt of trash and no one even notified me about this epic change of service. Twitter got out of the business of connecting people, ideas, and information. It’s about moving trash. Everyone knows, of course, that waste is a profitable and recession-proof business.

I don’t know where the trash is going, but it’s toxic – especially the sugar-coated stuff. We should stream it into deep space. For our sake. For our children’s sake. I know that ET might not like that. It might be too much ouch for the little guy. Maybe, that’s why the battle cruiser (aka Elenin) will intercept the planet’s path (around the sun) sometime soon.

The little guy is taking preventative measures. He may even be willing to sacrifice the very existence of Reese’s pieces.

Don’t underestimate the yet undisclosed wit and parody of a dude who’s real and man enough to say ouch. In public or from the command deck of an unseen battle star whose approach to Earth is eclipsed by the shiney of the yellow yellow sun.

Oh yes – where was I?

I confess that I got so click happy that I may have deleted people I want to follow. That sucks. But we’ll work it out.

The unfortunate problematic, of course, is that I still can’t find that blue that I’m looking for. My Twitter timeline still isn’t blue after all those clicks. I still can’t hear the music. And if I get back to the clickety click, several things will happen.

  1. I will lose lots and lots of followers.
  2. I will hurt people’s feelings. I will discourage them.
  3. I will lose Klout.

So I’m going to appeal to all of you out there to stop mucking up the collective stream of consciousness. And if it’s not you, spread the word. Shout this from the rooftops!

Are you really comfortable faking it? Friendship, love, gratitude, wisdom, and life – for instance?

The fraud of social media overwhelms me. The sheer volume of fraud that social media moves is nothing less than catastrophic. It breaks my heart. I wonder if Trey Pennington thought about it like this. Because there are moments of weakness when I am tempted to think there’s no hope for the species. That humanity is an epic fail. The Devil, as some stories tell it, has been saying this all along.

As I added that last line, young, American men (high on drugs and booze) are stumbling back to a nearby youth hostel. They pass under my window a few floors down. They’re talking about how beautiful the women are in Bucharest. Actually, prostitutes. They are amazed at how little they paid for love. Well, they didn’t really buy love, did they!? And now is hard times…

Imagine if this was a bad neighborhood.

Anyway, there’s a lot of flavor, attitude, and brand on Twitter. But there is not enough heart. Or honesty. Or humanity.

I’m not saying there isn’t heart, honesty, or humanity. I’m saying there isn’t enough. We are not being the best we can be – a theme from Cold Blood, an episode from Doctor Who. It touched my heart with sadness.

It’s not just Twitter. It’s Facebook and beyond.

A recent post from one of my Facebook friends, Margaret Kienzle:

WELCOME TO FACEBOOK … The place where people add you as a friend & walk past you in the street. Where relationships are perfect, affairs are started, & liars believe they’re telling the truth. Your enemies visit your profile the most, yet your friends & family block you. When you write what you’re really thinking, someone always takes it the wrong way, and people think your status is about them. The news feed changes daily and profile photos must be recropped (and/or disappear).

Indeed. If I followed the trail of tears that social media has revealed to me and others, I would be tempted to lay down in the middle of the stream just outside my window.

The stream of cars moving at 100+ kilometers per hour.

Stan Faryna
8 September 2011
Bucharest, Romania

P.S. Your $5 can make a difference. If you can get 10 of your friends to give $5 too, you will make an even bigger difference. Please help Nisha to help others.

Faryna Podcasts recently produced by Adrian Klein:

1. Why do I blog: Faryna Podcast EP1
http://wp.me/pbg0R-kX

2. If Tomorrow Was Your Last Day: Faryna Podcast EP2
http://wp.me/pbg0R-la

3. Money Can’t Buy Happiness: Faryna Podcast EP3
http://wp.me/pbg0R-lv

4. The First Duty of Love is to Listen: Faryna Podcast EP4
http://wp.me/pbg0R-lO

5. Are You Ready for Love? Faryna Podcast EP5
http://wp.me/pbg0R-lX

6. Reading The Desiderata. Faryna Podcast EP6
http://wp.me/pbg0R-mr

7. What is Love? Faryna Podcast EP7
http://wp.me/pbg0R-mw

8. Confessions of a Freak-Geek-Misfit. Faryna Podcast EP8
http://wp.me/pbg0R-nJ

9. Do you love strongly? Faryna Podcast EP9
http://wp.me/pbg0R-nY

10. Empty-handed, Less Traveled Roads. Faryna Podcast EP10
http://wp.me/pbg0R-on

11. The Economics of Friendship. Faryna Podcast EP11
http://wp.me/pbg0R-oU

12. Do Not Be Afraid. Faryna Podcast EP12
http://wp.me/pbg0R-p9

Note: If you want to make a professional podcast out of your blog post, get in touch with Adrian Klein on Twitter or Facebook.

47 Responses to Are you comfortable faking it? And other social media DOHs.

  1. Hey Stan,

    I started cleaning up ALL my social media accounts earlier this year actually. I continue to clean my Twitter every couple of weeks and just yesterday some guy posted that I had unfollowed him. My response back to him was “have you ever asked yourself why?” Never heard back, yeah like I thought that would make a difference. I was just a number to him and nothing else. Just like a lot of people see me on social networking sites.

    On Facebook I started trying to actually connect with my friends so after emailing them to learn more about them, if I don’t get a response within a month they are history too. Oh I know I’ve ticked some people off but if they don’t care to get in contact with me personally then obviously I haven’t lost anything right! I bet I’ve deleted over 3,000 people now. Oops! Such is life.

    I can’t fake it Stan, I wouldn’t know how! I’d probably look silly and down right dumb. So I’ll continue to just be me and if people connect with me that’s great, if not, I’m not going to get my feelings hurt.

    Thanks for the post and enjoyed the clips. Poor Superman!

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you, Adrienne.

      I remember your interview, that you’ve been hard at work making social media work for you. Honestly, I haven’t been much more than an observer, an evangelist, and a historian of social media. I haven’t fought in the trenches for my dinner like you have so bravely done.

      I bet that you have your share of war stories to share! Someday, I do hope you’ll share them.

      I noticed your blog post about timing your tweets like a science. Timing should help, I’m interested in hearing about your results after a month of timing it with that new service you’re using.

      http://adriennesmith.net/are-your-followers-seeing-your-tweets/

      I’m only concerned that your voice may be lost in the noise no matter how well you time your tweets. Twitter may need to think about additional tools to help us overcome such challenges. Perhaps, Aaron Biebert figured out the best tentative work around available – use Klout scores to identify value.

    • adrianklein says:

      What?! Are you serious! You know what Adrienne Smith I don’t think you are real and I can prove it. You are faking it right now.

      • Stan Faryna says:

        Adrian:

        Maybe you are joking. Or, maybe, you are disappointed about something that happened between you and Adrienne. If you can’t come up with the proof in 24 hours (make a blog post about it), I’m going to erase your comment.

        Write your blog post, illustrate your complaint with your proof, and you can share your link here with a graceful manner. I’d appreciate if you don’t escalate the situation with French, name-calling, etcetera.

        Or, perhaps, I can help you and Adrienne resolve this potential conflict in a friendly and confidential manner. You know my email, but maybe Adrienne doesn’t. My email is stan(dot)faryna(at)gmail(dot)com.

      • I understand, Adrian. It’s practically impossible to believe that Adrienne is real. She is so beautiful that her smiling face lights up my screen when I visit her site. She is so smart that she teaches me every time she posts an article. She is so patient she answers all of my questions. She is so warm and friendly she makes everyone who visits her site feel like they’re having a warm cuppa with their best friend. She is so open that she reveals her stats on her website. How can one person be that amazing?

        I’ve never met Adrienne in person. And in these days of FX, it’s possible that she is just a fictional character designed by Hollywood to make us believe that there is such a beautiful, smart, patient, warm and open person in this world.

        But I choose to believe that Adrienne does exist. And I hope some day to meet her in person and give her a big hug to prove she’s real.

        😀

      • adrianklein says:

        Ok Stan. Thank you very much for the opportunity to share my side of the story. Here is my blog post: http://bit.ly/qoHskO

    • Stan Faryna says:

      I have a hope that Adrienne can join me in making something that sucks into something beautiful. It’s not just a hope. It’s also a feeling that Adrienne has all the the right stuff to help me turn a potential conflict into a cornerstone of true community. I know I’m asking a lot.

      The internet has always been a ground that is equally fertile for connection and conflict. Long before web 2.0, things used to get really ugly as often as we were inspired and thrilled by the exchange of affection, love, desire, ideas, and information. Anonymity allowed people to hate and misunderstand each other freely and fiercely as much as it allowed them to share, give, and love freely and strongly.

      Web 2.0 and social media changed the rules of the game when it required people to use their real names to open their accounts. It forced upon us a certain responsibility for our online behavior. And that’s a good thing.

      The positivity movement grew out of this game changing event and has won over a lot of followers – especially those who got social after 2005. The positivity movement, as annoying as it may be from time to time to us old schoolers, has tamed the social space and made it more emotionally accessible to the hundreds of millions using it.

      There are problems, however, with all this positivity (beyond the fakeness). It tries really hard to ignore problems and misunderstandings. And ignored problems can’t be solved. Ignored misunderstandings can’t be resolved.

      Worse, conflict aversion restrains even a civil competition, evaluation, and testing of ideas and opinions. It can reduce conversations to table talk that don’t go deeper than a puddle. It even permits idiocy to flourish because few or none will challenge idiots or dumb ideas.

      I observe the latter all the time. I do it myself – say dumb things or fail to give notice that what I just read is stupid and useless.

      This is something to think about in terms of a bigger picture.

      At the local level, I see an opportunity in the present conflict for two people to lead us toward a deeper relationship through community. Because if they can resolve the conflict to their mutual satisfaction and continue to collaborate and build upon meaningful interactions with each other, they will have put the cornerstone of true community into place.

      That would be worthy of our admiration and friendship for both – but even more so for Adrienne. There’s nothing like a great lady that shows us how to be a bold, unbreakable leader with certain and unmistakable grace.

      Speaking of a great lady, I am reminded of President Obama’s eulogy of civil rights leader, Dorothy Height.

      The love in this sanctuary is a testament to a life lived righteously, a life that lifted other lives, a life that changed this country for the better over the course of nearly one century…

      • Yogizilla says:

        You’re absolutely right, Stan.

        It seems to be a common misconception that being kind-hearted or a “true friend” means being pleasant all the time. As our pal Dino would say, sometimes we have to be an insultant, not just a consultant, to help people out of a rut. The truth hurts but it prevents bigger hurt so why dress it up?

        So, yes, I rather deal with some salty dogs that “keep it real” than a bunch of people that just “yes” and nod things away. This reminds me of the discussion we’ve seen popping up throughout the blogosphere.. How do you take negative feedback?

        Well, negative feedback can be constructive and it challenges us. If we lack the resolve and principles to back up our actions, then good change can come about, even if it’s due to some vicious trolling.

        Okay, I went off on a rant again.. You do this to me, Stan! ;o)

      • adrianklein says:

        Yomar you are a true rockstar! It can’t get any more real than you dude.

      • Stan Faryna says:

        Yogizilla,

        I’m glad that you can see the potential of resolving conflict head on. I’m a little worried that people may run away and never come back to my blog. [grin] But we gotta try to keep it real. And love. That’s the digital footprint I want to leave. With little flowers pushing out…

        http://yogizilla.wordpress.com/2011/08/29/support-a-thon-whats-your-digital-footprint-say-about-you/

      • Yogizilla says:

        Thank you for the kind words, Adrian!

        Heck, I don’t even worry about being a rockstar.. I’ll be happy with “garage band” status so long as the people that come check us out really dig what we’re doing and aren’t just patronizing us. Ha

        Stan, I dig your digital footprint imagery.. That’s beautiful. You’re almost an anomaly because you’re so kind-hearted and selfless, yet you’re a badass when it comes to calling ignorance out and pushing hard for what you believe in.

        What’s interesting there is that folks struggling to tread that thin line between consultant and insultant, passion and obsession, persistence and pushyness… It’s one thing to have fire in your belly but perhaps it is excessive if that fire damages the hearts and souls of others, no?

        The tricky thing about our digital footprints is that any aspect that seems out of place can warrant someone calling “SHENANIGANS!” on us. It can be content borrowed without proper attribution, an automated tweet, or an inconsistency with bios across social media outposts. Any little thing can raise eyebrows and questions.

        That is why I try to “touch” everyone personally. It’s not realistic to keep up with everyone that even mentions us but tools like Commun.it, Twylah, HootSuite, and Google Alerts do make the job a bit easier.. The “trick” is to be proactive, rather than reacting (firefighting sucks) all the time.

        Thanks for the natural plug there, Stan.. Real smooth, brotha, and it’s definitely a good fit for this conversation. 8)

  2. Stan, aloha. Loved, loved, loved your post and what Adrienne had to say. Interestingly enough, I came over here to pull a post to link to because I am quoting you in my post today. This one is a perfect fit.

    It always amazes when someone tweets “so and so unfollowed me.” Stan, I think they are missing the “Doh” part of the equation. If someone unfollows you, they have a reason. It could be that your content isn’t a fit with them, however, more likely it is that your content is mucking up their stream.

    A few weeks ago I did an experiment which had rather disappointing results. Stan, I “assumed” if people followed me, they wanted to engage with me. Thus, each person who followed me and whom I followed back, I sent a tweet, NOT a DM, thanking them for connecting & saying I looked forward to getting to know them. Each of them was personalized; most had something I culled from their bio included.

    Stan, less than 10% sent me a return tweet or engaged with me in any way.

    Well said, my friend. Best wishes for a Terrific Thursday. Until next time, aloha. Janet

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you, Janet.

      You do go a long way to share and give. Whether it’s mentioning people in your blog posts, writing blog posts in support of this or that person, or throwing out a call to action across the tribal chats in Triberr. What you are doing, Janet, is what friendship, leadership, and the engine of social is about. I like what you do.

      I wonder if your tweet got lost in the moving stream of trash. Or if it’s just about the people? If it’s about the people, do they lack social skills? Do they care?

      You made a heroic effort to reach out to your followers. Wow. I can appreciate your anticipation for a more rewarding outcome. I can appreciate your disappointment when you got a flat line. 10 percent is a flat line in social terms. It’s a minimum. It means the connections just aren’t live wires.

      That makes me consider how it’s really too bad that even DMs fail to provide that private, intimate, and expedited channel between you and your closest connections.

      Thank you for mentioning me, quoting me, and linking my name to this blog post. We all need to be doing that for each other.

      You’ve opened up a whole other can of worms in your blog post, Do Your Regular Friends Read Your Blog?

      http://www.janetcallaway.com/do-your-regular-friends-read-your-blog/

      I’ll be over soon enough. Just as soon as I find a clean and crisp black shirt.

      • Stan, aloha. Just want to make it clear that the tweet was sent to new people as they followed me. Twitter sends me an e-mail letting me know someone followed me. After I clicked on the link to follow them back, that’s when I sent them the tweet. It is from the new people who just followed me that only 10% responded.

        In terms of the people I follow who follow me back and I engage with, if I send out a tweet it is more like a 90% responses. Or let’s use Pareto and say 80/20. My guess is that some tweets are lost in the stream as I know I sometimes miss seeing ones to me.

        Thx so much for you always great comment, Stan. Off to reply to it. Until later, aloha. Janet

    • Yogizilla says:

      You are brilliant in your ways, Janet!

      I’ve done similar things on a smaller scale. When I thank folks for retweets, I often include something I enjoyed in their bio.. Time permitting, I’ll go through their tweets and share/fave something that I found particularly good.

      If I unfollow someone, the reasons usually include lack of meaningful engagement or lack of quality (or at least entertaining) content. Sometimes the content may be a good fit and it’ll be useful and/or fun.. But they stream is too aggressive for our own tastes, right? That sometimes warrants an unfollow too as I’m trying to hone in on the core audience across platforms and having that sort of virtual spam definitely mucks things up.

      Now, with your experiment, I am actually impressed by the 10% return considering that most folks do not use the full features of Twitter, let alone third-party tools, and they’re stuck in their main timeline. Can you imagine how much good stuff is drowned in that crazy stream??

      This is why I really believe in the “tell a friend”/”going deep” approach… Spend more of your time with the most engaging, caring folks because they are the ones that will really help you spread your message. Everyone else may like or even LOVE us but they’re not always tuned in.

      We can thank the traditional marketing noisemakers for cluttering up our happy online homes. ;o)

      • Yomar, aloha. Just want to make it clear that the tweet was sent to new people as they followed me. Twitter sends me an e-mail letting me know someone followed me. After I clicked on the link to follow them back, that’s when I sent them the tweet. It is from the new people who just followed me that only 10% responded.

        In terms of the people I follow who follow me back and I engage with, if I send out a tweet it is more like a 90% response. Or let’s use Pareto and say 80/20. My guess is that some tweets are lost in the stream as I know I sometimes miss seeing ones to me.

        Thanks so much for your input, Yomar. Until later, aloha. Janet

      • Yogizilla says:

        Ah yes.. The Pareto model still very much applies. If you get a chance, check out my pal Mitchell York’s thoughts on the 80/20 rule over at About.com – he’s a columnist there for entrepreneurial topics. A very sharp guy!

        The interesting thing is that we may look at the top-tier of our audience, the big money-makers and influencers, as the folks we should focus on.. Yet that middle-tier can often be our best advocates, even when they can’t “afford” other types of support. Mitch wrestles these thoughts quiet well.

        Here’s the direct link:

        http://entrepreneurs.about.com/b/2011/05/19/a-new-spin-on-the-8020-rule.htm

        Google seems to dig his article – with good reason! I’ve had the opportunity to work with Mitch and get to know him when I lived back in NYC so I can vouch for him when I say that he is the “real deal”. 8)

  3. I am torn by the desire to do this for the sake of love and art and the desire to make money. Followers help build a foundation that might lead to a place that generates enough income to turn this into something more than it is.

    But the cost of doing so is something that I pay attention to. What do we have to do and what will it take out of us. Worthy questions and not easily answered.

    • Yogizilla says:

      I hear you there, Jack!

      Many times our content, whatever mediums we may choose, becomes a labor of love. There’s nothing wrong with that.. But you have to wonder how sustainable it is. After you develop a loyal core audience, you start to owe people more. Your responsibilities change and you have to find ways to carve out the time to deliver.

      Are money makers and art mutually exclusive? Not at all.. But it’s certainly hard to balance the two.

      When you focus on the dollar signs, the temptation is to churn out quantity rather than quality. Sure, you can crowd-source, guest blog, syndicate, and the like… but people want more of YOU.. It can be a very high-pressure situation but it’s good to have that sort of pressure, yes?

  4. Stan Faryna says:

    “Worthy questions are not easily answered.”

    Now that’s what I’m talking about! This is a shimmer of blue, Jack.

    Actually, it’s gold.

    I should be able to look at any five minutes of my rolling Twitter Timeline and see one instance of shimmer, sparkle, and dancing beams of sunshine or moonlight.

    And hopefully, that shimmer won’t be fool’s gold.

    Speaking of fool’s gold, that reminds me of your post, Jack. Please don’t steal my content. WTF were they thinking?!

    http://www.thejackb.com/2011/09/01/please-dont-steal-my-content/

  5. adrianklein says:

    Stan, this blog post is awesome. No wait, I mean AWESOME!

    Man this is why I love you, because you are real. I absolutely love you! It’s people like you that make me feel a real connection online; it’s like having a real friend next to me. Your honesty, your deep thoughts, and all the ways you support people online (likes, shares, tweets, comments, back links, etc.) makes me feel like you are next to me saying “I’m here for you.”

    Is there any other blogger that links back to the comment author’s website in every reply?

    The Internet without you or people like you would be just a big puddle of mud! You make a difference here. You make a difference in people’s lives.

  6. Betsy Cross says:

    Hey Stan!
    Know what my first thought was? “Oh no! Did Stan wipe me off of his Twitter stream?” HAHA! Yes, that matters to me.I almost went and checked, but I get all confused and distracted doing that kind of stuff…so I left it alone.
    When I first joined Twitter I immediately followed over 100 genealogists thinking if I throw enough on the wall somethings got to stick. Truthfully, I was seeing people as teachers, there was no real connection yet. I thought that those were my “like-minded” people. But I found out that being interested in the same thing doesn’t make friendship. They rarely interact w/me even when I try. Thousands of people download my free charts. I’ve had not one ounce of feedback. If I have anything to offer them it is yet to be seen. I’ve even begged for feedback to know how to improve. Nothing. So I leave that alone, too.I think there’s a “someone else is answering her so I won’t” syndrome out there.
    I feel like a pain in the butt every day when I answer someones seemingly random tweet. But I figure if you tweeted it you must want someone to answer. I wonder if your best friend is the one you really wanted to answer…But I leave that one alone too because I just don’t know any thing more than treating someone the way I’d want to be treated.
    As far as Nisha goes, I’m loving her! She gets up every day and tells us what she eats. All she asks is $5. That’a a lot for me most days. But I know the feeling of talking to air….
    Thanks Stan! My little one just woke up! Gotta go..

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you, Betsy.

      I owe you a rough draft outline of my intentions for managing the Rockstar tribe. I hope to get to that this weekend. PLEASE remind me.

      Beyond that, the tribe is waiting for you to join us. I have sent the invite.

      So there’s no easy escape for you, Betsy. Not from me. [grin]

      You bring some precious insights in your comment above and I want to illuminate them, but I’ve also been thinking about your last blog post, Why Do You Use Social Media?

      http://silentleaves.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/why-do-you-use-social-media/

      I added your post to StumbleUpon. Hopefully, others will stumble it too.

      This is what I wrote in the SU review of your post:

      “Refreshing honesty about how the author got into social media and still wonders where it’s all going. I also love the conversation in the comments.”

      Now the gems in your comment above:

      “Being interested in the same thing doesn’t make friendship.”

      My thoughts:

      YES!

      Friendship is needy. In other words, friendship needs for us to need each other. Aristotle and C.S. Lewis both define the type of friendship according to the need: advantage, pleasure, and love.
      Within each type of relationship, the economics bind or release us.

      “Thousands of people download my free charts. I’ve had not one ounce of feedback.”

      My thoughts:

      Explicit freebies are neither engagement or interaction – they come with no implied obligations. Freebies may be a way to get attention, move the herd, but I’ve noticed again and again that they garner little gratitude because somehow they are viewed as property of the commons.

      “All she asks is $5. That’a a lot for me most days.”

      My thoughts:

      If you took two minutes every other day for three months to give Nisha’s post a like and post a link to her post on Linkedin, Twitter or Facebook – that kind of encouragement would be worth a million times $5.

      P.S. I checked Twitter and it said I wasn’t following you. But I am following you now! And I feel so stupid that you fell off the follow. [cry] Please forgive me.

  7. Hi Stan, I apologize for not posting a comment earlier. I tried to post it twice yesterday from my iPad. I thought it went through the second time, but I should have come back to check.

    I think, like real life, there are different levels of connections online. There are the people you nod “hello” to as you encounter them and then there are your close friends to whom you bare your soul.

    On Twitter, you have 140 characters to say your peace. Some people use those characters wisely, others pollute your feed. You can follow whomever you wish and you are wise to unfollow those whose tweets waste your time.

    Thank you, Stan, for pointing out we don’t need to waste our time on those who don’t enhance our lives online. Just as we should pare our real life relationships, we should pare our online ones as well.

  8. Betsy Cross says:

    You know Stan, I have to plead ignorance to most of what goes on on Twitter. I’m learning, but I think I offend more than help at times because I interpret peoples’ actions or inaction to something that isn’t true or real. I think people mean well. But there aren’t enough hours in the day to reply to everyone. That’s why I think I want to keep things small and intimate. That’s how I function best. I can speak to large crowds, but I enjoy dialogues more.
    So, sorry to anyone at the other end of mt judgement!

  9. Stan Faryna says:

    Big hug to you Carolyn!

    So WordPress.com and ipad don’t fly?!

    You have nothing to apologize for. Technology can suck that way – especially when we are the unwitting beta testers across an undetermined and unending period of time.

    Hmmm. What do you think about the domain, faryna.eu, for my new blog? I think it’s time to move it.

    I’ve lost about 200 Twitter followers since the unfollow. I expect another 100 by end of the weekend. But I can live with that.

    A thousand unfollows might suck, but I think I could live with that too – as long as my tribes don’t give me the boot for failing to enhance their apparent reach. [grin]

    I started this reply and then I went over to check your blog. Hours passed. I left you a comment about the iPhone, the Serene, and everything. [grin]

    http://www.wonderoftech.com/2011/09/good-bye-iphone-hello-android-part-1/

    http://www.wonderoftech.com/2011/09/good-bye-iphone-hello-android-part-2

    P.S. I also voted for you. I think that I only missed one day since my first vote.

    • Yogizilla says:

      I voted as well and promoted the contest. Wishing you great luck! If you remind me, I’ll be sure to tell some friends and give you some extra UNF in your campaign.. but you have Stan and gang so I think you’re in good hands! =oD

    • faryna.eu is a great web address. You could call it thisistheworstblogever.com and I would love it. And no, your tribe rocks so the only way for you to leave is for you to quit.

      I cleaned out my Twitter followers and lost more than I culled, but that’s okay. I have rebuilt since then.

      Thanks so much for all of your votes and wonderful comments! I greatly appreciate all of it!

  10. This is how the world is Stan. Full of “trash”. Not only on twitter or facebook…real world too. That’s one of the reasons I keep my engaging to a limit(the other reason is laziness, shame on me), because the more people you know the more trash you will get, it’s like an unwritten rule. I was really lucky to know people that became very close friends to me. I just realized, now, before leaving how many true friends I actually have. Maybe I am a good friend too to others. I do try to listen and help, when and how much I can, although I should do it more … I feel so bad for not being able to be completely selfless…

    But…this is how life is. We just have to be kind and love everyone despite the way they act, and God will take care of the rest. 🙂

    Hugs and love,
    Maddie

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Maddy,

      If the world is full of trash, let’s start the clean up. I’m not talking about gunning people down. But surely love must have a way!

  11. Well, all I can say is what you see is what you get with me (I hope). I really don’t have a hidden agenda and if you unfollowed me on twitter I probably wouldn’t even know it. I spend some time on twitter, but as you can probably see, you are more apt to see me commenting on blogs than sending out tweets, unless someone has mentioned me and pulled me in.

    Having said that, I have been trying to do some housecleaning but it’s not a major overhaul.

    Yes, their is trash floating through that twitter stream and it’s distressing at times but I just try to discern what’s real and what’s not.

    I hope you have a great weekend my friend.

  12. I’ve been yearning for Twitter of yore; I seriously miss it. I miss the ‘raderie, the tweets without links, the sentiment and the notion that we’re reporting on something real in our own escapades rather than another link to bring the rain. Sigh.

    I’m not sure where I’m heading these days with the social of social.

    Today I got chewed up by someone on LinkedIn who wanted to join a group I manage and I asked her for more information about what she did (seeing nothing in her profile that correlated and a title of “Specialist). Well, I must’ve been racing to get that done b/c she was peeved I asked her any questions at all. So, I apologized 2x profusely, but she still let me have it.

    The stream is littered. Yes. And, I have no idea if Adrian was joking about Adrienne; let’s ask Rocky! Oh, King Bill is in the house; he’ll tell us.

    Stan, your charm and sweetness (those are different) continue to ebb and flow even in the most rocky of circumstances. (I wanted to use Sly’s name twice in one comment.)

    RIP Trey (you left us baffled with your choice for your children)

  13. Funny thing about reality Stan, it’s often very different than we think it is. And it’s usually quite different than we hope it would be. The question then becomes how will you respond, and how much do you care how your response will be viewed by others.

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Robert,

      Yes. Reality is often very different than how we first think it to be. Sometimes, we’ve always got it wrong in way way or another. Most of us don’t read minds and that’s a good thing too!

      Communication, of course, helps. Building upon consensus, one puzzle piece at a time, is also helpful to getting on the same page.

      Getting to the next page together, of course, is where the challenge can quickly become steep and epic. Bring along a lot of good will and your best kata of kicks, ducks, and monkey sounds.

      Oh – I have a slightly different take on the sidebar debate which you talk about here:

      http://dempseymarketing.com/journal/blog-sidebars-gone/

  14. First, an off-topic note: We must be on the same wavelength because I just happened to watch ET 3 days ago, so it’s very fresh in my mind. “Be good” (including the voice) is one of my catch-phrases. And yes, I sobbed at the end.

    Now, back to the subject at hand. I’ve only been on Twitter since February, so I don’t have the same experience as those who have been using it for years. I guess the Brown Danube is the only thing I’ve ever known Twitter to be, so I have long since accepted it and moved on.

    In the beginning, I was a tad obsessed with following people and getting followers. I was completely disorganized and my stream was a mess. Then I started using Twitter lists and stopped caring about the numbers. My main stream in still quite brown, but I don’t read tweets using the Twitter interface. I stick to HootSuite, where I have nice, clean, well-organized streams set up.

    I do recognize the irony that i follow around 1,200 people, but I only listen to about half of them on a regular basis. You’re right–I don’t unfollow them because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Every once in awhile, I get a tweet from someone that starts a good conversation. So I don’t want to abandon anyone.

    On Twitter, I chat with people who don’t follow me. I also chat with people I haven’t followed. It doesn’t bother me at all. I’m just there to communicate with people, not collect them as trophies.

    Social media reminds me of gold mining. You have to sift through plenty of dirt and silt to find the hidden gems. But once you find them, those gems can become true friends. Yes, it takes a lot of work and patience, but in the end, it’s worth it to me.

    Well, that’s it for my ramblings. Very thought-provoking and insightful Stan. 🙂

    • Stan Faryna says:

      Big hug to you Marianne!

      Hootsuite and Tweetdeck are work arounds as you and Saul suggest. I’ve played with them but I rejected them on the silliness that Twitter is supposed to be a place where I connect with the world. Maybe, it’s time for a serious rethink on that.

      How about that black out!?

      http://www.marianneworley.com/2011/09/09/snow-dayin-san-diego/

      There’s strong argument that your black out was caused by a solar storm. An X-class solar flare was due to hit us that day. The good news is that if it was a solar storm, then we can rest easy that the increased solar storms expected in the next 12 to 16 months aren’t the threat that some notable scientists had feared. The bad news is that we can expect inconveniences.

      Why this isn’t a conversation in the mainstream media is just proof that journalism has been replaced by a mashup of entertainment, marketing, and useless information. Citizen media with all its prejudice, inaccuracy, and lack of credentials seems to be the only kind of journalism that is really going on.

      What do you think?

  15. Good one, and may I suggest, or cleaning out the @faryna “Danube of Twitter deadbeats,” ManageFlitter (let me hand-hold you on that one, to make it faster for you) and also, column (in Hootsuite or Tweetdeck) a list of your inner circle (you’re in mine, BTW) and interact with them; don’t even try to do that with your full following. There’s no need.

    ** Props to @yogizilla for Stumbling this my way #respect #papi

  16. Wow lively discussion here Stan. Love it. I have to admit I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the Internet, and in particular social media. It’s potential for expression and connection is mind boggling but there are always two sides to every stick. Fantastic that one can appear to be such an active networker but there’s no point to quantity without quality and the two are mutually exclusive. There is far too much noise and trash and I have to spend far too much time sweeping it up to chuck out. Maybe we need some online trash police?

    ~Marcus

  17. horse riding says:

    horse sitting…

    […]Are you comfortable faking it? And other social media DOHs. « The unofficial blog of Stan Faryna[…]…

  18. What a fantastic blog post! And also a great reminder to me that I need to clean out my own Twitter stream. You’re right. Social media can get cluttered with lots of noise that just doesn’t really matter is is counterproductive to what I am trying to accomplish.

  19. […] a link to Seth Godin’s blog post came floating down the brown Danube and I had that prescient and uncomfortable feeling that Seth is going to grab the 15th spot on this […]

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